If you’re located in Australia, you might like to try my Online Couples Therapy service.
This could be a good option for you if:
- you’re busy and would prefer to save the travel time for something else.
- you are your partner are in a long-distance relationship but want to do the work together.
- it just feels more comfortable for you to do the work in your own space rather than my office.
- you have small children at home and can’t get away.
- you live in a part of the country where you haven’t been able to find a couples therapist you want to see.
- you are experiencing the kinds of problems Couples therapy has been show to assist with.
The kinds of problems Couples Therapy is known to help with:
- communication problems: this might include difficulty expressing wants and needs in an optimal way, difficulty talking about challenging topics, such as sex, money, and family.
- difficulties working through conflict: you might have trouble raising issues and generally prefer to brush things under the carpet, or you might have very loud and passionate fights. Either way, you are aware that you don’t have the skills to solve the problems that arise in your relationship.
- infidelity: there has been an emotional or sexual affair and this has resulted in stress for you both and potentially trauma for the partner who was betrayed. Couples therapy can help you move through the aftermath of this and rebuild trust as long as the affair is over and both partners are committed to rebuilding the relationship.
- intimacy issues: A lack of physical and emotional intimacy can put a strain on a relationship. Couples therapy can help you to find new ways to talk together that will assist you to find the way forward.
- premarital counselling: Couples therapy has been show to support couples before they get married by helping them acquire new skills and identify and work towards solving any potential issues that might arise in their marriage.
It’s probably not the best option for you if:
- dislike technology and are not confident in installing and using Zoom.
- don’t have a computer and plan to do therapy on a phone – I will probably look too small to you and you won’t be able to catch enough of my non-verbal cues to feel safe and connected with me.
- you just prefer to be in the same room with your therapist.
- you or your partner have an untreated mental health condition, like anxiety, depression or an active addiction.
- you or your partner have had an affair and are unmotivated or unable to give it up and return fully to the primary relationship.
- you or your partner have already decided you’d be better off getting a divorce.
If you stay with regular Couples Therapy sessions, you can expect to:
- improve your communication skills
- develop a greater sense of closeness and intimacy
- increase your capacity to talk about hard things
- find new ways to talk about the issues that come up again and again
- developing an understanding of how to process disagreements
- find ways to recover from fights more quickly and to fight better
- restore trust & commitment
- develop a greater appreciation of your partner
How this works:
I practice the Gottman method of Couples Therapy and am trained to level 2 in this approach. I’ve also received training in delivering therapy on-line and take the following steps to minimise some of the inconveniences of working online:
- I provide instructions here on how to set yourself up Zoom, if required.
- I recreate the experience of me looking directly at you, by reducing your image to a third of the screen size and placing it directly under the camera. You might like to do the same.
- I use F.lux to minimise the impact of Zoom fatigue and so be at my best for our sessions.
We start the work together online with a joint interview. I’ll ask you first of all, what brings you to therapy. We’ll then have a conversation about your relationship history as well as your hopes and dreams for the future.
Session 2 is split into two parts. I will meet each of you for a private conversation about what you see as the key challenges in the relationship, any theories you might have about why things are the way they are and what you might have already tried. I’ll be keen to learn more about you as a person in this session; what matters to you, what aspects of your history are having an impact on your relationship and what your role models have been.
At this second session, I’ll invite you to complete a compulsory online assessment, which each partner completes independently. This provides me with very objective information about the strengths and weaknesses in the relationship and clearly pinpoints the areas for us to focus on together.
At session 3, we’ll talk through the results of your online assessment and agree on a way forward together and if we have time, will close the session with a short exercise.
I do like couples to practice the skills learned in sessions at home and I will provide suggestions for activities after each session.